Six Years on

She appears most days,
in my thoughts and dreams, my imaginings
usually fine - sometimes a jolt

Fixed in age never changing
would be thirty-two - still twenty six
going on twenty-seven

A part disbelieves she was ever here,
out there - not returning - out there - never gone.
my heart collapses, I reach breaking point

Throat catches, chest heaves, eyes ache,
stopped in my tracks again -
a permanently disabling condition